My One Liners!!!!!
At School

There you are, sitting in the computer lab, probably working on coursework, when it suddenly dawns on you that you haven't changed your msn screen name in days!

A grade 9 history test question: Give the number of automobiles produced in America during the year of your choice. My answer? 1806: none
Homework is just an excuse to make kids work at home
Professor: "...So don't ask me any stupid questions like, 'What's Newton's first law?'" (from the back of the class:) "Who's Newton?"
I don't mind if you sleep in class. Only, please do not snore. You are disturbing others who are trying to sleep.
If you aren't going to listen, at least pretend to listen
'Where's your sense of adventure?' 'At home in bed where every good sense of adventure should be at 7:30 AM'
(on a lecturer's door): The probability of finding me in this office is inversely proportional to the magnitude of your urgency.
...Yes, the lectures are optional. Graduation is also optional.
A sine curve goes off to infinity or at least the end of the blackboard
A typical class in high school: show up, get rid of your homework, get new homework, leave.
We're the best freshman floor this year, and at the rate we're going, we'll be the best freshman floor next year, too.
Bad spellers of the world Untie!
Cogito ergo sumo: I think therefore I am a huge fat wrestler.
Freshmen don't run, they scamper. They're like hamsters.

If all good things must come to an end - than numbers are not our friend!
If you read a dictionary, you'll be really smart. If you eat a dictionary, you'll be really full.
In a large auditorium at university, the lecturer began by saying, 'If you can't hear me up at the back, put your hands up.' A row of hands went up...
Latin Class Rule #6: When the teacher's trying to remember your homework assignment, always shout 'Mangled baby ducks!!!'
Oh me oh my. A lovely day is dawning. Oh what a joy I didn't wake up dead. So I can go to school and resume my yawning. And get my sleeping in class instead of in my bed.
Prof Rule #1: Never turn the lights out in a lecture hall with students near the door.

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