My One Liners!!!!!
Why Ask Why?

Have you ever wondered why things are the way they are? Well wonder no more! 

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
 
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
 
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
 
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
 
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
 
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
 
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
 
 
 
Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
 
Why is the alphabet in that order?
 
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
 
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
 
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
 
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
 
When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
 
Do fish get cramps after eating?
 
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
 
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
 
Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not adoor?
 
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
 
If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
 
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
 
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
 
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
 
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
 
 
 
Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it  is?
 
Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?
 
The light went out, but where to?
 
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
 
 
 
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
 
Did you ever wonder? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
 
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
 
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
 
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
 
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
 
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do orientals throw hamburgers?
 
Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
 
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
 
 
 

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
 
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
 
 If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
 
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
 
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
 
 
 
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
 
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
 
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
 
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
 
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
 
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
 
Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
 
Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?
 
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
 
 
 
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
 
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
 
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
 
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
 
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
 
 
 
 

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