Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going
to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
Nothing: This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the
feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument
that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".
Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset
over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".
Go Ahead (normal eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care".
You will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you
in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men.
A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you over "Nothing".
Soft Sighs: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that you
can actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.
Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked
to so and so about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, RUN, do not walk, to the nearest
exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to
talk to you for at least 2 days.
Oh (as the lead to a sentence): Usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie
more to get out of it, or you will get a raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that we can't bring ourselves
to write about them.
That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say. "That's Okay" means that
she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often
used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go ahead". At some point in the near future when
she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
Please Do: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever
excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful
and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".
Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say you're welcome.
Thanks a lot: This is much different from "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks a lot" when she is really
ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful
not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing".